Coupon Day!

Today is coupon day. I have this tingly excitement that suddenly runs through my veins when I see those hand-written envelopes in my mother's neat, script writing, laying on the table. They stare at me, begging to be opened to see what goodies and saved money await. And I wait. I torture myself from this paper indulgence by waiting. I need to do the dishes first, because the counters have to be clean and sink somewhat empty before I can think about dinner. I need to check my email first. I need to get caught up on Facebook. Sigh.
I need to...
They stare at me longingly, waiting patiently for me to tear open the top and poor out those thin sheets of clipped, shiny, 4 color-printed paper.
Oh. No.
There are the weekly grocery ads. They are almost as bad as coupon day. There they put pretty pictures of all the things I have to have to satiate the greedy cooking beast inside of me at discounted prices. I'll do that first. Make my list to go out on my weekly grocery trip...
And they stare at me atop my red covered laptop, screaming to be gone through, and organized. I have 2 envelopes today. Both are fat and juicy like a suckling pig, making the envelope bulge ever so enticingly.
Maybe I will watch some Big Bang Theory. I have tomorrow off. I can go through them then.
Yes. T.V. I can do it. I can resist the excitement of coupon day.
No. No. I can't
Rip. Tear. Sigh.
What is it that gets me so excited about coupons? 
Is it the small amounts of money that I can save, or the larger ones when they get doubled and added to things already on sale. Is it just the excitement of opening a small package, kind of like opening presents on Christmas, except it's Christmas once a month? Is it the fact I get to organize and sort them, like I do with my pictures and music on occasion...making sure everything is in a folder that clearly labels it, every song has an artist and album, every picture name and date and event. I get just as excited about doing those things too. Maybe it's my OCD kicking in, like the way the dishes have to be done before I can cook or the sofa cleaned off before I can sit down to watch t.v.
The computer desk can be piled with stuff and barely space for my keyboard, and paper can be stacked on the kitchen table with the cat food on top (to keep dog out) during dinner, but the kitchen and sofa must be clean. Maybe it's like that?
All I know is, I am not as bad as those extreme couponers they show on t.v. buying 6,000 containers of hand lotion because they have really, really dry skin, plan on using it in the coming zombie apocalypse as a component of of some anti-zombie chemical, or plan on doing really dirty things with it.
Cough. Cough.
BUT...I do have 25 bottles of salad dressing from Ken's just because between my coupons and mom's (which she then sends me the bottles she has purchased) I have that many, and I do have 15 boxes of cereal, but they were REALLY cheap and I had COUPONS! But cereal and dressing are things I use regularly and they will be gone in less than a year. No zombie apocalypse needed.
I have even started teaching a friend of mine how to do the coupon thing to help her reduce their enormous grocery bill. I bought her a coupon holder from target and everything, intent on sharing my coupons with her and also sharing the links to websites to print even more.
I am not addicted. I am not addicted. 
Ok. I am. But it's a good thing. It saves me money, has taught me to be excited about saving money which has made me more responsible with my money. I make less than $1000 a month, but can pay all my bills and have plenty of extra to buy the random things that pop up and sometimes even a splurge on a date with the kids (which I can do, for the 3 of us, for under $20, dinner and a movie out) now and then. Sometimes when I feel really flush, I even buy myself a new shirt from work or a $15 a bottle container of conditioner for my hair.
So I love coupon day because it saves me money, has taught me responsibility and has made my life better all in all.
Don't ask why mom sends me coupons. That's a whole other thing...

Oh. Before I forget. Here are the links I use for extras. On a side note, signing up for an email account just for spam mail is a good idea. Also, all your favorite restaurants probably have email subscriptions... which usually means free appetizers, desserts and meals on your birthdays.

coupons.com
couponmom.com
kelloggs.com
kashi.com
bettycrocker.com
Cereal.com
redplum.com
Couponnetwork.com
retailmenot.com
couponcabin.com

Local grocery stores sometimes have them too. On the west coast...
safeway.com
albertsons.com
fredmeyer.com

Midwest...
mypricechopper.com
henhouse.com
hyvee.com
mysunfresh.com

I am sure there are a million other, so please feel free to add! I only have time to surf a few sites on my days off, but others I am sure will be thrilled! :-)

Trapped in hell

Great name for a blog post right?

I'm not really, but there are days.

My kids had to go see their sperm donors. We live in Washington, they live in Kansas. Let me tell you summer in Kansas is... special. This week it has been well over 100, with the exception of today, with a thunderstorm last night, today dropped to 97. With 100% humidity. Yup. That's right. The great plains rainforest without the trees and cool plant life and animals.

I miss home.

I was ready to go back 2 days after being here. Don't get me wrong, I love me family and friends and enjoy visiting those I left behind. But this is no longer home. It hasn't been home since about 4 months after our move to the great Pacific Northwest.

I spent my entire life in Kansas City. I grew up in Gladstone and Parkville and spent my adult life moving from place to place, from Raymore, MO to stuck up southern Overland Park, KS. Up until about my mid 20's I think I was okay here. Then I realized I liked to travel and explore new places and this was no longer fulfilling my heart.

Of course, there is a long, drawn out sob story of bad relationships and poor choices. Who doesn't have one these days in some capacity? I am no exception other than I chose to rise above it, starting around the age of 30 when everything came crashing around my ears.

3 years later, with a college degree in my pocket and plans to work toward another, I left my childhood home.

I fell in love with the northwest the first time I laid eyes on it, 3 years ago, at my sisters wedding. There was little time to explore but I knew it was where I wanted to be. I had spent years on anti-depressants to feel normal and happy. I forgot them during that trip. I didn't need to take them.

That was my clue.

A second trip a year later provided more in depth discovery of the Portland area. When I came home, I fell into a deep depression, spending weeks locked in my room away from everyone.

That's when I started writing the book. 

Sure, part of it is that mind numbing fear that we may never get to see it again. You see, we are here not only for the kids visitation, but for a custody battle with my daughter's father. If I lose, which I won't, but if I do, we will have to come back.

And that scares me the most.

Now that I have found the place I am meant to be, that sings to my heart and whispers to my soul, the place that feel RIGHT, the place that is home, that it will be taken away from me.

But the other part is missing HOME.  My kitties, my friends, my cute little house, my tiny little vibrant garden. The freedom, the clean air, the vibe.

Home is not what necessarily the people in our lives, or what we make it. Out soul picks the place. The rest falls into place after that.

And the point of this rant...our soul knows the right song of where we are meant to be, all you have to do is listen.

Since I seem to have a little bit of time, I managed to kinda, sorta, more or less, get my blog designed beyond bloggers templates into one cohesive-ish blog.
GASP
I know right?
So in reorganizing and stuff, I decided I needed my own little space to write and bs and moan and groan and whine and whatever. I doubt anyone will read it since there are more interesting things to see like, you know, recipes, gardening stuff, pictures.
Nonetheless, I need to write more, and don't always have time to delve into the book, and this is the perfect excuse to do that. Because, I have so much time to keep up with my other blogs, I needed one more to post to.
Anywho, enjoy. It's bright and in my favorite colors, and somewhat organized.